She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
