peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I think I sprained my soul last night
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
