So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
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