honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
