Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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