I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
