Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
you would pick up someone in the library
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
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