Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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