Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
