margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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