what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
