I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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