after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
