perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
