if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
