I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
