They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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