I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
