do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
