No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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