I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
