forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
