I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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