I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Randomize
