Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
