also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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