you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
