I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize
