the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
