I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
