No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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