Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
