youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
