Operation Purity has been aborted
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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