All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
