I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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