I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize