I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
