I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
