Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize