You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
