Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
