I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
