I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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