Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
