So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
