I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
P.S. I can't hear my feet
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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