I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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