all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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