he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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