If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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