I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
