Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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