just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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