I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
