I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I have already put on my inside pants.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
