By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Randomize
